Wow !!!!  I hope everyone has had a chance to read a “Female version of a match report by Councillor Pearson a.m.a.t.e.u.r.  (Elliots mum). It’s good (it’s far too good!!!!). Well here goes with the so called “factual” version.

We arrived at the Ramada Hotel cleaned, fed and watered at 12.50pm as instructed by our leader Wayne, and yes the Mackie family were late again!!! ( getting petrol I expect)We left Bury on our 11.4 mile journey into the beautiful countryside with Wayne leading the way, (Wayne’s car does have a fourth gear but also it has a restrictor attached, in the form of Nigel Bishop in his escort with the flashing headlights and beeping horn anytime Wayne goes above 40). We finally arrived at Walsham, completed a much needed warm-up, and then on with the game. Tiger’s kicked off with debutant James Blyth in the side. Welcome James hope you enjoy being a Tiger boy. While the supporters, including Tiger’s own W.I group enjoyed the luxury of the impressive stand and Manager Rick in the dugout, I was sent (by Rick) ½ a mile away to the other side of a very wide pitch. Hope you enjoyed your chat about Jury service, BBQ’s, Painted nails, School holidays Etc.?  Cos on my side of the pitch it was blizzard conditions, minus 30 degrees and by half-time there was a foot of snow on the ground, cheers Rick! Despite the conditions Tiger’s played some great footie Miles Orlopp scored a typical poachers goal to open the scoring and further well worked goals from Elliot Pearson and Luke Walker (Birthday Boy) gave Tiger’s a deserved 3-0 half-time lead.  Sorry   I didn’t make the half-time team talk guys but by the time I’d made it across to the almost tropical side of the pitch it was time to return to my Siberian vantage point.

James Blyth was impressive on debut while Max ‘Ronaldo’ Stubbs continues in a rich vein of form and he  scored Tiger’s 4th goal just after the re-start (so that’s Miles, Elliot, Luke then Max, That’s the order and yes it does really matter….., Novice!!). Walsham rallied late on and a wonder goal gave Walsham hope. Tiger’s defended well and only a harshly awarded  penalty looked like denting the goals against tally again, but  a great save by Matthew Le Poidevin looked to have thwarted Walsham only for the ball to return into Tiger’s area and was tapped into net,  4-2 final score. After sarnies and cakes (which we thank Walsham for. ) we returned straight home and not via Norwich (like that Barrow lot must have done, 35mins???) 15mins and it was home, feet up and kettle on, job done. Oh and by the way “what an earth is a hoover”???

Mark Lebbon

and now......

The ‘Female Friendly’ Version

MATCH REPORT - SATURDAY 5th APRIL (FRIENDLY)

WALSHAM LE WILLOWS 2 BURY TIGERS 4 (I think)

Hi All, A brief explantion to begin with as to why I have been "nominated" by a trio of people (you know who you are) to write a weekly match report.  On one recent occasion I apparently missed an incident on the football pitch because I was talking and looking the other way!! As an incentive to watch a full game and be aware of what was actually going on during the match it was suggested by this trio of people that perhaps it would be a good idea to have me write the Match Report for the following week!  Not one to not rise to a challenge I thought I would give it a go - and being a woman I thought I would do it straight away whilst all the facts were clear in my head - please bear in mind it will be the "female" version and not the factual version that Mark does so well!! (Creep Creep).  .... 

How does it go Mark - we all woke up on a bright and sunny Saturday morning, made a full english breakfast for all the family, fed the dogs and cats, put a load or two of washing on, cleaned the football boots, hoovered the house, dusted the china, cleaned the toilet, painted our nails and put on a full face of make-up, chose the most suitable outfit for the day ahead and headed out towards the Ramada Hotel to meet up with the rest of the players for 12.45pm exactly (one family were late in arriving but we won't mention them).  With Wayne in the lead (I'm sure his car doesn't have a fourth gear) we all happily followed him bloody miles into the sticks of Walsham-le-Willows all singing along to the radio in our cars!  (How am I doing so far - not boring you I hope?).  On arrival it started to sleet with snow - GREAT!  The boys had a quick warm up and the game begins!! I believe we were playing in blue (very fashionable) and the other team were playing in red. 

Whilst the boys kicked around a "ball of air" for some 20 minutes us women had a lovely time chatting about the Easter Holiday break the kids have had from school (Yes they have been off school for nearly 3 weeks - my husband didn't realise - the only give away was that I was a bit more grumpy than usual when he came home from a hard days toil to his scrumptous tea which I had also prepared for him inbetween working myself and take care of his children!).  Sam was chatting about the BBQ planned for our team family day, Claire was telling us about her jury service, and Sally was busy trying to keeping Emily amused, and Val was busy deciding what new hoover to buy (sorry Mark had she not told you that bit).  Although we were all very cold it was a special treat to be able to sit down and have this chat and be sheltered from the rain.  I think at some point over the next 45 minutes the Bury Tigers managed to win the game - 4-2 and I even know who the goals were scored by - Max, Luke, Elliot and Miles (not in that order but does that matter?). 

It was also noted during the game that this week my nails were painted bright red and were not realy fit for typing - if I chip a nail typing this report there will be hell to pay!!  Anyway, to cut a long story short - we won the game, had some lovely sandwiches and cakes and went home!! (It took us about 35 minutes to reach Barrow from Walsham).  I think it is a little unfair to expect me on my first week to have to write 2 match reports - what happened to breaking me in gently - so I will be brief on the Sunday Match.  You may have noticed I wasn't there - it was cold!!  So I sent along your "lucky mascot" - John - Elliot's day (he is I promise!!)  Well what can I say - the "lucky mascot" was not so lucky and we lost and they won - I said I would be brief! (Does the score matter?)  Bad luck boys - apparently you were all a bit "tired" so rest up for the week, back to school on Wednesday - YIPPEE!!!  I will finish off this report now - I hope you have all kept up and haven't lost the will to live yet - it has been said before that I can talk alot but I hope that I have not bored you!  I think I have finally found my vocation in life and could possibly make a career out of this type of thing.  Joking apart I do look forward to reading Mark's match report of what actualy did happen in the games at the week-end because I wouldn't have a clue because I wasn't watching!!  Till next time ...  Tina P..

MATCH REPORT - SUNDAY 6th APRIL

BURY TIGERS 0 TOLLGATE 3

Ok Mrs ‘P’ YOU WIN, Wayne will build you your own little heated press box for future matches, just so long as you don’t send the “Lucky Mascot” anymore!

It was a case of after the lord mayors show for Tiger’s on Sunday, last week a 2-0 victory sealed promotion, this week it looked like the Tiger boys already had their minds on their summer hols, despite the dismal weather. In truth Tollgate deserved their victory. Two uncharacteristic defensive errors from Tiger’s either side of half-time were punished by Tollgate leaving Tiger’s with a mountain to climb.

Clayton Mackie and Harvey Dinkele both had great games for Tiger’s and as expected at 2-0 down Tiger’s gave it a real go at getting back into the game Max ‘Ronaldo’ Stubbs , Luke Walker and Elliot Pearson all went close but a little bad luck and a lot of good Tollgate defending meant it wasn’t to be Tiger’s day. Tollgate sealed victory late on with a well taken 3rd goal, well done to them. A hard weekend over, Tiger’s can put their weary legs up for a week and rest, perhaps you can persuade your parents to extend your Easter school hols for a few extra days?, good luck on that one Elliot!

Next week an 11 a-side match at Needham.
Well that’s it, I know when I’m beaten, I’m now a redundant footie reporter Thanks too ‘A brilliant female’s version of a match report, creep, creep. Wayne has already sent a large keyboard and nail protectors to Barrow, so I’ll see you when I see you.
I’ll just leave you a few pointers,  Mrs P,  for future reports:

1. Always mention the Toon. Eg: they won 3-0 this week, HOORAY !
2. Never mention Sally Walters and washing clothes in the same report (they don,t go well together!)
3. Never use naughty words, TUT TUT Mrs P  !!
4. Anything that goes wrong, blame Wayne Osborne.
5. Never spell Elliottt Peersons name wrong cos you’ll never hear the last of it
6. We always have a Man of the match, who was it and why ???  

MARK LEBBON